Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Pocketful of Sunshine.


     Hey Omaha! I know, I am an awful blogger being away for so long! Honestly, I have been having a hard time fighting off my so-called "ugly days". Every day has been an anxious race from home to work and viceversa. I cannot wait to finish my eight hour shifts to drive off and hide under the covers in my couch. But I continue to push myself out of bed. I am not going to let the voices in my head win. I got this.

With that being said......

       A new year has begun! Actually, January is almost over, or halfway gone. Either way, I am happy to have closed 2016 in a good note. For the most part anyway. But I am here to look at the positive side of Life and keep on moving forward. There is so much more to prepare for!  But in the meantime I'll catch you up as to what I have been up to since last we talked.


It was December 1st in 2011 when Mitch and I moved in together. Five years later, I think it was time and meaningful to marry on the same date. It was a small ceremony at the courthouse with our parents and witnesses.  It was an amazing day to have our family and closest friends there to share this event, a beginning to a new phase of our lives. The support and love from these people mean the world to us, and we couldn't be happier and more lucky! We are shooting for a bigger celebration in June. Nothing fancy because we are not made of money, but I do want to share with every special person in our lives the moment when we exchange our own vows and seal our commitment with the infamous rings.

Now I am just trying to keep it off. It is a war against the mirror every day, but I take it one at the time. To be able to wear the clothes I wore four years ago brings such satisfaction! AND it saves me money because I won't have to buy new outfits, even if it's from Goodwill. $3.95 for a used shirt? No thank you! Ha.
weight loss, be yourself, come as you are,
weight loss, be yourself, come as you are,


                                                                              I have been with the same company for almost three years now, both morning and evening jobs. I get along with coworkers. We work together as a team. We have fun together as friends. We support each other as family. It's an amazing feeling and I wouldn't trade it for anything... well, maybe a better paid job, but in the meantime, I'll stick to this. I enjoy what I do and it works just fine while I get my head cleared up as what I want to do in Life and start doing it. Now.

                                                                           On both sides, we are grateful and proud to have our loved ones behind us. Not many get to say this, and I am blessed to be one of the fortunate to have it. There are not enough words to describe the feeling to know that God doesn't throw anything at you that you can't handle it. Whatever it is, it shape us to be the best we can. It is up to us to mold it.
Lady Gaga is back with a new album! I love every song; some more than others, of course. But I love it all as a whole nonetheless. Great music. Great lyrics. Sincere. And as always, a new sound. She's the Super Bowl Halftime Show performance. No pressure there, Mother Monster.
Ed Sheeran is back! After a couple of years of hiatus, my favorite Ginger dropped two singles! They have the "SING" feel and style, but the story being told is definitely Ed's. As no one else can do it. Here, check the videos for the songs! Typical Ed's sense of humor and story telling.
Axcess, local hip hop artist, has dropped Rebels Against Society EP this weekend! I don't even recall how I found him, but I do know that I was sucked in by the message and the path of his career. He has been featured in the Omaha World Herald August 2016 "Get To Know" article. Make sure to check out his SOUNDCLOUD, but more than anything, support local homies and come out to shows, buy merchandise, and/or share with others.

As some of you may know, I am the oldest of my siblings. I grew up in the household of a single mother. I didn't have a male influence in my life which is not always a necessity, yet I think it wouldn't have hurt. Or maybe. Who knows! I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. So be it. I got to meet great dudes that left a positive mark while growing up. One of them is, then a nineteen-year-old, Rusty. Knowing that there was someone out there, technically a stranger, who seemed to care about me was a key factor in the perseverance and strength that got me through whatever situations Life threw at me.
Now it's my time to pay it forward. I did some volunteering with a Leadership camp for high school students for a few years. Now I am part of Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Midlands, for almost a year actually, and I have been hanging out with my Little whom has taught me more than I thought I'd get out of this experience. As I have mentioned it to our Match Specialist, I walked in to their office hoping to get matched and be a friend to my Little, be there for him, and do as much as I can to help as much as I am allowed. But it's become more than that. I am also learning so much from him! A sharp, bright, funny, and full of energy eight year old that keeps me on my toes. From the Outings that we have had, I have re-encountered the child within that I thought I had lost; I've had fun and laughed, I have played outdoors for hours, I have spent an entire Sunday evening in Downtown full of people. I must confess some times I wanted to reschedule the Outing due to my anxiety, just thinking about it I panicked. Yet, I pushed myself; this is not about me, after all. By the end of the Outing, I always came back home happy and recharged with Life. My Little's positive vibe and personality always turned my frown upside down. Being around him strengthens me to step up and step out of my comfort zone even more. I just hope that while he (unknowingly) is helping me through this, he also is having fun and knows that I care and I'll be here for as long as he needs me to.
Small town fact: I was told that Rusty was a factor of me being accepted for the Match. Crazy thing is that I learned about Big Brothers because of Rusty, and I joined because of him. I haven't seen him in years, but his actions and words stay close to me every day.
I guess it's true that people don't remember what you do, but how you make them feel.

From last year, I am glad to say I made a couple new friendships that I hope they last and stay strong. I was the best man at one of my good friends that moved to Colorado; it was a great time seeing him happy with his now wife and daughter. Then, I met two other dudes totally opposite one from the other, but chill and stable; I've re-learned from them to stay focused on your dreams, to work hard for them, and to always be there for others. No matter what time it is, or if chilling means a bonfire or a movie night at home. Finally, I have the older friendships: the ones that have made it this far, tolerated my insanity, and I will do anything for. The ones that wouldn't think twice to pick up the phone and be there. Yes I am lucky.
And for this, and so much more, I am still living The Good Life.

[...Relax. Take it Easy.]

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