Thursday, June 14, 2018

Oops! I Did it Again...

Back in April I said I was going to be more consistent with this Blogging crap, but I pulled a Britney! My bad, y'all. Not that anyone is keeping tabs or concerned as to why I haven't posted. Actually, I care! I do care. It's a matter of keeping myself honest and accountable to continue doing what I say I will do. If I don't maintain a level of liability, no one else will. I tend to excuse myself and move along, pretend everything is OK, and damage myself in the end. That's how I ended up in credit card debt. IT MUST STOP.

So I am going to start following through for sure. For real this time lol

Maniac Monday: Catching up at work. Prepping for another week.
Typing Tuesday: Blogging/Vlogging.
Writing Wednesdays: 500 words a day. Post to Short Stories Blog.
TimeOff Thursdays: Day to hang out w friends.
Financial Fridays: Check on bank accounts/bills.
Study Saturday: Pick a topic to learn.
Sunday Funday: Free day for anything.

So there's the days of my week to follow from now on.
I need to get my shit together once and for all. Join me on this journey and let's see what adventures I get into while trying to adult. I cannot be the only one that's this far behind in Life, right? Not that I wish it upon anyone else, but some company wouldn't hurt. Okay, some sympathy/empathy.
Now, I am taking on a new job position as a Front Desk Lead at another clinic which means I have to say goodbye to the friends I've made since 2014 at the Old Market and the new ones I've met at the University Campus. Bittersweet decision. This being said, of course I gotta shape up. I can't let down those that support me, the one that recommended me, and simply I gotta step up my game. I know I am ready, I know I can do it, and I know I will succeed. I just have to stay grinding. One day after another. And remember to breathe.

[...Relax. Take it Easy. ]

The Old Market Crew

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Hiatus is OVER.

Hey Omaha!
Thank you for the patience and understanding as to why I have been away these past four months.

I tried summarizing my depression into one sappy paragraph. I attached a picture of my favorite modern poet, and I hit DELETE after contemplating the degree of personal and hurtful words in it. In a world full of terrible things, I want to spread positive content. Now, I am fully aware of my struggle, and I am slowly opening up about it; you all that visit this blog have read hard pieces that I have taken down since. I validate those feelings that I put into words,
but I gotta keep moving forward. That's what we're all here for. 

Halloween 2017

Last year was rough. Y'all know I live for Halloween. I love playing dress up; it's an outlet to be someone else but me. I know, pathetic! But whatever. Not the point. As I was saying, last year was a roller coaster of emotions. Looking back, those experiences have become prime examples of what I need to either learn from or let go of.  
I pushed myself to go with the flow. Express emotions on cue. Lay low and hype up accordingly. Halloween stands out because I was able to literally hide behind a mask, after doing it for so long only figuratively. Living through Billy The Puppet, Halloween was a success. I made it through the night in one piece and it was memorable. My husband even highlighted the fact that hadn't been for the mask, I would not have been acting the clown I was. That's who I really am, outgoing, eccentric, daring, uncensored. And it sucks that anxiety and depression get a hold of that real me, chain him up, and keep him locked up. Afraid. Expecting ridicule. Always on the look out for the worst to happen.  


I refuse to take what my mind shoves down my throat. 
I am not going to take it anymore. 
I will dig my nails if I must to make my legs move forward.
There is so much to live for! 
So much to do. Many books to read. Hours of music to dance to.
A plethora of memories to make with the people I love.

[...Relax. Take it Easy.]